look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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