Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
