Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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