I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just gift wrapped bread.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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