I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
