you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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