is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
