id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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