I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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