your parents love me but you hate me
youre lurking in front of me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
