If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
