I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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