let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
