im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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