I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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