My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
