Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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