Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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