listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
