Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
