Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
