So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
