I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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