she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
