he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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