I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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