im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
