Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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