I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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