Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
