Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
