Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize