Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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