I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
