Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
As shirtless as possible
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
