Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
