with your own penis?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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