I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
