The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
