Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
