I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
