I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
