trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
