Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
