69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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