Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
