Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
