She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
