handjob tips. give me some.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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