That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
