i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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