You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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