I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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